Life Rule: Be Weird


I went to the movies yesterday with the Wife. We experienced a moment that I will remember for a while. Stimulating in the sense that it gave me that feeling of being unique.

Let’s take  it back. Heather and I were going to the movies. We had our usual banter  during our road trip to our regular theater. At one point, I was singing (way too loud and way too obnoxiously) with the windows open. Some kind of country song with a deep tone that just so happens to match my own pitch perfectly. She turns the music down, looks at me in the eyes and tells me, ‘you are so attractive when your mouth is shut, stop ruining this’.

Game on.

Mouth shut. Closed until she can’t stand my mouth being shut.

The music is off and the car is dead quiet five minutes later. Sometimes silence says a lot more than you think. And that’s never more apparent than when you’re in a silent car. You know, that awkward silence only experienced when you are nervous about what the other person is thinking. And you can’t come up with anything to say. So you sort of freak out on the inside. So she does her usual thing to try and tempt me. Turns on some catchy tunes…Lauryn Hill’s Killin them Softly comes on the radio. She starts singing, my head starts rocking, swaying to the tune. I feel the music from the inside. My heart starts pumping and my mouth wants to release the pressure. So fucking bad.

I’m not going to fold. My usual banter interrupted by a challenge.

Non-responsive to her requests to talk,’You can talk again babe, I’m sorry, I miss your voice’.

Hah, nice try Satan. I restrain myself.

We make it to the movie theater. I contemplate the situation. After 20 minutes of silence, how am I going to order tickets? I won’t let this break me. Being a gentleman is mandatory and this protest will not be thwarted by some deep seeded social constraint.

Assuming the movie theater has someone who is even slightly savvy to my shenanigans, I come up with a plan. I walk to the window, Heather puts me on the spot with a cue about not knowing what to see. The movie theater employee asks what we would like to see. I put up two fingers, then four fingers. She looks at me in bewilderment.

To a Mainlander, shifting sideways and putting two arms up to my side as if I’m surfing would be completely unintelligible (Mimicking the Hawaiian Legend, Eddie Aikau, world famous big wave surfer and local hero). And apparently it was no easier for an Islander to decipher as she remained completely confused, staring at me with an air of disgust and impatience. Until I shift. Facing her, I flap my wings up and down like a bird. Although slightly annoyed, she got it. We got two tickets to ‘Eddie the Eagle’ and I made it into the theater without breaking silence.

Heather blushes, hits me and says, ‘Stop it babe, this is getting ridiculous’ with a slightly annoyed and embarrassed look.

Winner winner, chicken dinner.

Eventually I broke my silence at a completely uninteresting moment, mentioning something about Celine Dion’s new show in Las Vegas.


Be weird. Be yourself.

Published by mikeg00se

I like to adventure, paint portraits of goats and love family stuff.

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